PMDD: PMS on Steroids

There are one or two days during the month where I should not leave the confines of my bed. I should lock up all technology, pens, paper, smoke signal tools, morse code machines, anything I can possibly use to communicate. I possess PMDD, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. I use the word possess, because I feel like I am actually possessed. Anger, anxiety, confusion, sadness, you name it, I feel it. INTENSELY. As much as I struggle each month, those in my path of destruction suffer just as much.This time, it’s the guy I am seeing. He likes to ghost, as they say, just stop chatting or calling. Emotionally unavailable people do that. However, this time, I wasn’t having it. Despite the half hour drive, I hit the highway, the Highway of Good Judgment Gone Bad and Bad Memories that will Linger Much Too Long. Suffice it to say, he didn’t respond to the incessant knocks at his home portals. What exactly is this beast, PMDD?According to the American Psychological Association, “approximately 3 to 9 percent of women experience premenstrual changes so severe they can't keep up their daily routines. Some experts say these women suffer from premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a condition characterized by intense emotional and physical symptoms that occur between ovulation and menstruation. In other words, PMDD is like supercharged PMS.”If you think having a mental illness is unpredictable, wait until this bad boy takes hold. This time, I’ve alienated about a half dozen people (that I know of) and will need to mend those already rickety fences. It is not fun stuff, and it may not take. Time will tell. The big question is, what can we do about it? Experts say self-care is huge. Get that sleep, eat well, work out, and stay on a schedule. Medication may also be tweaked to make life more bearable and enjoyable.Talk to your doctor on this one. Tell others what’s up. Chances are, you know someone else who goes through this on the regular. If all else fails, track it, set your watch by it. Put on Netflix and stay inside. If you believe in God, wrap yourself in his love and your favorite blanket until he takes it away. Ask him to take the pain away. Good luck. We’re all in this together. Yes, PMDD affects everyone. We got this. "The views expressed are the author's own and do not necessarily represent the views of NAMI or NAMI Lansing."